Solitude

November 6, 2007 at 12:34 pm 6 comments

I feel a pain, as tenderness touches me
like morning mist caressing the grass
on a faded village road in childhood,
like the soft drops of silent dew
on brown leaves soft beneath
my yearning feet.

Ears shall confound as they hear me.
Hear my voice echoing in the profundity
of repeating, convoluting confusions.
Clotted blood on my eternal scars.
Clotted on my eternal in
my burning thoughts.

I shall feel the clasps of unknown hands
on the silent silent gasps in my language,
on slender necks, on silent mouths
that have only ever tried to wail
piercing the cloudy whiff of
my solitude.

© 2007 Ritwik Banerjee

Creative Commons License

Solitude by
Ritwik Banerjee is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

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Entry filed under: art, emotions, life, literature, loneliness, pain, perspective, Poetry. Tags: , , , , , .

Singleton Of Cellular Phones and Gogol – I

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. allirekha  |  November 10, 2007 at 2:38 pm

    nice one.., reading the poems u have writen before..im sure u can do better,even if i am none to say abt ur awesome works
    🙂

    Reply: Thanks Rekha! Don’t say that you are nobody to say anything about my works. If they are good, it’s because of readers like you appreciate them!

    ritwik

    Reply
  • 2. harmonie22  |  November 14, 2007 at 10:12 pm

    Ritwik that was beautiful. you’ve got some great images too. My favorite is “morning mist caressing the grass
    on a faded village road in childhood”

    I really appreciate and relate the stifled language image / theme too.

    Reply: Thank you, Harmonie, for the encouraging comment. I personally think that in spite of several images that are beautiful in themselves, the poem as a whole is jittery. I am especially uncomfortable with the sudden jump in tone from the first to the second stanza.

    ritwik

    Reply
  • 3. Teodora  |  December 30, 2007 at 9:16 am

    Wonderful Blog

    Reply: Thank you Teodora! 🙂 Always a pleasure to provide a decent reading for the visitors!

    ritwik

    Reply
  • 4. tinarathore  |  February 29, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    there is a stunning imagery here… your use of simile is what striked me “like morning mist caressing the grass on a faded village road in childhood,”,” like the soft drops of silent dew
    on brown leaves soft beneath my yearning feet”.
    every image, simile, word form a collective whole to bring the feeling of yearning…so b’fully expressed in this poem. the lines ” I shall feel the clasps of unknown hands
    on the silent silent gasps in my language” are strikingly haunting. it is a haunting play of subconscious that solitude brings…the best i’ve ever read on solitude.

    Reply: Thank you Tina. 🙂 I am glad I have been able to convey the haunt-factor (!!) with some effect here.

    ritwik

    Reply
  • 5. tinarathore  |  February 29, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    hi ritwik. i’ve followed this link from the caferati blog, the introduction column to be precise and let me tell you i’m glad i did. i really liked your poems….

    Reply
  • 6. Trinath  |  July 10, 2008 at 5:36 am

    The ending is too good !
    I mean has a very free flowing structure to it.

    But in the lines
    “like the soft drops of silent dew
    on brown leaves soft beneath
    my yearning feet.”

    The repetition of the word “soft” appears rather strange. You could have used “on brown leaves underneath , my yearning feet”

    Reply: Thank you for your comment Trinath, and many more thanks to you for pointing out the weakness in those lines.

    ritwik

    Nice poem all together !

    Reply

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